Sorry you and your wife are experiencing this...
My ex husband was Irish-American from Wisconsin. I'm American born Japanese from New York. I was afraid when we moved back to his hometown in Milwaukee or went to his family cabin in rural Northern Wisconsin we would face a lot rascism and stupid comments but we never did. I was pleasantly surprised by how accepting everyone of me. They were more interested that I was from New York. If my ex heard any comments he never mentioned it to me. And he usually tells me everything. Great story to help bring awareness.